This page is about adoption. It's a subject I'm familar with as I was adopted when I was a baby.
Growing Up
This can depend on the individual. For me, I was always curious about who my parents were, why they gave me up, where they were, what they looked like, whether they missed or thought about me, and the list could go on.
It's not easy. One of the things that link parents and children together is similar resemblance. Usually, it's a coincidence (albeit a strange one) if adopted kids look like they're adopted parents. I remember standing in front of the mirror wondering who I got my brown hair from, my green eyes, and my above average nose. Sometimes questions like that won't be answered for years, and they may never be answered.
There's just a lot of missing pieces. As a kid growing up, we need to put those together to start to realize what/who we are. For adopted people, some of those crucial pieces are missing, so you don't feel complete.
Now, a lot of adopted people aren't curious and that's great. I wish I was more like that, it would've made growing up a lot easier. I don't think that anyone who was adopted can't ever say they didn't think about where they came from though.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for adoption. It's an ethical way to give an unwanted baby a family that will love and care for them. Abortion takes away life. We were all fetuses at one point, what if you were aborted?
As good as adoption is, there is still a veil of secrecy that swings in favor of the biological parents. I agree that there should be no contact until the legal age of 18. But after that, the adopted child should have full access to any and all records pertaining their parents.
I was lucky enough to be born in one out of a handful of states that has open records. Millions of other fellow adoptees don't have that luxury...
And many will die with their puzzle incomplete.
The following story was written for my adoptive parents, for their 2003 Christmas present.
We Will Take You
The young family didn’t know what they did when they spoke the words. For those words would affect the rest of their lives and the life of the one they took.
There was a young baby boy, kicked out of the womb by his twenty something mother. A few months early and struggling to hold onto a life with his little hands. Spinal meningitis, respiratory distress syndrome, two pounds and fourteen inches long was all he was.
The family got a call “We have a young baby here with problems… will you take him?” “YES they said, where do we go?!” “Go to the hospital a few hundred miles away.”
So they went, not knowing but having faith. They reached in his incubator and cradled him in their arms and looked down to him and said “Don’t worry, Baby Boy, we will take you.”
Months later he was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, a lifelong disorder of the brain, most likely due to his birth complications. He needed care and he needed help. They were moved to the greatest place for him… close to a CP center and when the time came, they took him week after week, year after year.
As time passed, he grew and grew. With a determined spirit and by the grace of God he learned to walk, went to school and did all the normal things others do.
One teacher didn’t want to teach him, she didn’t want a handicapped child in her class. The parents simply said “We will take you to another school.”
When the boy was a new teenager, they moved once again and his world dropped from under his feet. The kids were mean and his heart hurt. He missed the ones he loved, that treated him with kindness. He needed care and help yet again “We will take you.”
Years after that, the young man went off to college. Not used to freedom and being eighteen, he had fun and college was the last thing on his mind. He flunked out and wanted to stay in the area. “We will take you to find a place to live.”
He lost his way, and fell down, stumbling. He needed care and he needed help. He found himself in a bad situation and they called to him and said “We will take you.”
So he went. He was back home. For it was home where his family was. It was a change, but he made the best of it. He decided to go back to school and did very well.
He prayed and made the decision to leave once again. Back to the place he knew as that young boy, and back to the place he stumbled a few times. He needed help once more…
With faith and some hesitation but with hope… they told him “Don’t worry, Baby Boy, we will take you.”
While my parents aren't perfect, and we don't always get along. I respect and love them simply because they did something many others wouldn't... they adopted a child and took care of him as best they could, making sure he got the best medical care and love.
